January 2009
57 posts
5-yr-old neice’s answer to “you’re so literal”: “I am not a little girl.”
My dad and step mom are a walking euphemism, and I haven’t had my bloody mary yet. Ew.
Uhh euphemism may be too subtle but hoping my breakfast drink won’t be.
About to put the zzzz’s in tonizzzzle
lil wayne television event! wish it were with bahbwa wahltas, but will settle for couric. http://tinyurl.com/bww4ps
the internets is blowing my mind today. talk about an lolzapalooza.
…in 2004.
Coachella bets: Amy Winehouse bails. Dudes from Turbonegro sweat viking bullets. Morrissey bails. Backlash at Cure set bc dudes headline …
America’s leading anti-acid spells smut backwards
Consider me thawed. Los Angeles, I’m yours.
Time machined to a computer riding 2002 WindowsXP. On the @danielfaraday island timeline, this tweet has maybe not yet to not exist. Ever.
“Bottle Shock” and “Nights in Rodanthe” are my in-flight flicks. So much for entertaining myself with the @rebamcentire music channel.
Mom’s solution to Cali’s new hands-free driving law is to whisper into the cell phone she’s holding whilst driving.
My wrist and my hummus (@mcspunkster) and my cookies (@tomterrific) got thru airport security.
Picked a tremendous day to depart for Los Angeles — a sunshine run for the un-tuburculosis’d.
Watchkitty cam!!!
http://sorry-mom.com/ “It was literally like a retard fucking a door knob. I can’t imagine anything worse.” (via @irockiroll)
HOLY PAJAMAS. New Pete Doherty. Double claps. Homage to Lewis Carroll. Old-timey piano ballad. In love.
From the Chronicles of Erudite Night (aka “Mondays”): Gossip Girl is a rerun…so…maybe I’ll read Twilight.
Dandies! Bicycles! Dandies on Bicycles!
Flickr
shwitter. it’s tweeting from the bathroom. live it.
Got my excited pants on, doing the laundry dance
Have always wanted to meet my identical hand twin. Turns out his cast didn’t assuage the fact he’s a creully-beautiful syphilitic.
Flickr’d my gnarled post-op wrist & now have scar-fetishizers as followers. Wait until they see all the cookie jar photos I plan to upload.
and you thought there was more important ballot initiatives in 2008 http://www.villagevoice.com/pazznjop/critics/2008/686576
my dentist had TVs affixed to the chairs, which sounds fab until she put on a lifetime movie and took a drill to my teeth. double whammy.
related: no cavities! so i guess “drill” less accurate than “pickaxe.”
genre-defining-moment alert: post-pop-punk. it’s a thing.
the west coasters are freaking. suck it, PST. #lost
Calling it now: serena’s boobs will get a spin-off
These snow-filled clouds are swallowing the sky and I’m over their tricks
Honorary eagles fan with @mattkosoy and @sabasaba
Omgz that movie makes me want body glitter. And more flannel.
Omgz about to see Twilight!!!!
Rhinos are the nonmythical unicorn of the land.
peter doherty! 1st solo album! magical! http://tinyurl.com/24fbxb
inside the work incubator, hatching promo copy
Finally started watching Mad Men last night and wanted to make my ankles sing today but holyfuckballs it’s frigid out.
in love with my new cushy headphones. they’re like giant ear wombs.
Trying not to turn my feed into adventures of one-armed girl, but goddamn I’m getting good at using my teeth. And toes. Like a gamecock.
The identical newborns at the doc’s are named Jack and Charlie. The parents must be stoked for the Lost premiere.
There is enough paella in my fridge to feed a small armada.
My bike got pimped. Thanks @elihorne!
http://twitpic.com/10w74
wiping chicken off your elbows isn’t nearly as glamorous as it sounds
